BDSM Weblog

My friend Jerzeem, whom I’ve known since I was 10, called me a little over week ago, and said, “Sammael, if I’ve ever said or even thought anything bad of your lifestyle choice, I apologize profusely.” Amused, I let him go on, and it came out that he had encountered his first submissive girl — or at least, his first submissive girl who was overtly into BDSM. The idea that a woman would want him to order her around, and would put his happiness above her own wants (or rather, would achieve fulfillment from seeing to his desires), was pretty eye-opening for him. It struck home, I think, when he was on a date with her having ice cream. He playfully went to dab some on her nose, she reflexively pulled away. So he said, “Hey, get over here.” And she did. And yea verily, Jerzeem was hooked.

Knowing that I was into the lifestyle, he talked to me, related his story, and got some advice. I am ever gleeful to bring someone over to the dark side. Since then he’s been reading some good literature, and getting involved in the community of FetLife.com.

Last week, he also needed a change of scenery, to get away from some distinctly negative influences for a while, so he visited me. In addition to all the normal hanging out stuff, we did a few lifestyle-oriented things.

Wednesday, my mentor was holding a demonstration on flogging, so we went to that. I didn’t tell him that it was at a gay bar until we were on our way there. What? I’m a sadist, after all! Seriously though, he wasn’t squicked by that, and found the demonstration to be very informative. He also learned that when one goes to a demonstration, one inevitably gets the intense urge to practice whatever was being demonstrated. The price of knowledge.

Later that week, we went to a local munch, and this one was good in that it had a discussion (last week’s topic was punishment and obedience training). So he got to meet some people in a non-threatening environment, and listen to a lot of different viewpoints. Unfortunately, the room we had at the buffet was overflowing, so it was a bit tough to carouse much.

Then later in the weekend, there was a play party at the local dungeon. It was one of the less crowded nights, which was a good thing in that it meant my girl and I actually got to use the whip room (it’s been way too long since I’ve been able to singletail her, and we got crack-blocked at a previous play party by someone who jumped us in line for the equipment). It also wasn’t overwhelming for Jerzeem. As almost everyone is their first time in a dungeon, he felt a little awkward, and was quiet, but he enjoyed the experience, and got to see a few different styles of play. One thing he noted was that a lot of the play was more ritualized than he’d imagined it would be.

So, he got a little taste of a few different aspects of the BDSM world last week. He’s already arranged to go to some munches in his home town, and is even looking forward to a BDSM convention there. And he just this weekend realized that Harley and Joker had a distinctly BDSM-tinted relationship. Let’s just hope he doesn’t think too hard about Batman and Robin. Ageplay, anyone?

Filed under: Goings-On by Sammael