The idea of informed consent is one of the core principles of BDSM. It’s in the two most common acronyms, SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink). Without consent, what we do is immoral and illegal — well in many places, what we do is illegal even with consent, but I digress. […]
I made a post discussing whether giving oral sex is a dominant or submissive activity. A concept somewhat related to this, which I’ve been mulling over lately, is that of “service tops.” This is a term that means a top that is in service to their bottom, doing exactly what the bottom wants, and nothing […]
At first blush, it seems like giving oral sex is a submissive activity. You’re giving pleasure to another, and it’s as simple as that. Or is it? When I first started thinking about this, I had heard people in the past talk about how giving oral sex is a sign of dominance. The first time […]
It seems to me that in any lifestyle, or hobby, or philosophy, many people tend to think that their way is “the right” way. If you’re doing something differently, it might work for you for a little while or a long while, but if you did it their way, then you’d definitely be better off. […]
I’d like to think that I am a very tolerant guy. My opinion is, “If it floats your boat, and isn’t hurting someone else, then great!” Doesn’t mean I’m into everything, of course. For example, fecal play is on my list of “squicks.” But if you’re into things like 2 girls 1 cup, then great! […]
Most people hear “S&M” and they think of psychopathic sadists, flesh being flayed from bone, emotional abuse, and other such negative things. People tend to think in extremes, but the media has definitely played its part in sensationalizing the dangerous fringes, too. A lot of us in this lifestyle and community are seeking to change […]
It struck me then that sadists are more than someone who gives pain, and release. A skilled sadist breaks you down so that you can rebuild yourself. Holds a mirror to you, to show you not who you think you are, not who people tell you you are, but who you really are. Sometimes you’re actually stronger than what you believe. Sometimes you’re weaker. Either way, you’re forced to see it, and deal with it.