Maybe I’m just expecting/hoping for people to have a greater sense of activism than they’re naturally prone to, though. It’s not that I’m disappointed when people don’t seek to educate others; more that I just don’t understand what’s so hard about, like you say, risking the confusion of some friends by correcting their ignorance where appropriate.

I certainly don’t want those in the lifestyle to shove it in the face of everyone else — that would have the opposite effect of what we want. However, I feel that there’s too much of an attitude of, “They’ll either understand it or they won’t.” I think most BDSM folks (myself included) can try a little harder than that.

I definitely wish that more kinksters took an “It’s my responsibility to try and change this negative image,” tack, rather than simply shutting up whenever anyone says something stupid or ignorant about BDSM. But at the same time, I can’t really blame people who could suffer serious consequences for being “out” about their preferences. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to risk, say, losing their job for the cause of BDSM freedom. But I do wish people would consider risking milder consequences … like the confusion of their friends.